Tending my widgets

Come in closer, aye, that’s it. I’m after some advice, you see. It is probably obvious that I am new to this whole blogging malarky. I started under the impression that all I had to do was a wee bit of writing, maybe stick up a few pictures, show it to my Mum, who will show it to all the other Mums and then, hey presto, the whole of Oban is reading it.

Turns out, it’s not that simple. I keep being pestered by these creepy wee creatures called “widgets”. Seriously, they’re everywhere – the whole house is riddled with them. I saw one run under the sofa just now, a nasty wee thing with too many legs, like a spider. It disappeared before I could catch it.

Apparently, I’m supposed to do something with these widgets. Does anyone know what they eat? I looked it up and even Robert Burns had no idea what to do with the bloody things:

Wee sleekit, cow’rin, tim’rous beastie,

Oh, what a panic’s in thy breastie!

I ken you’re just here to unbraid me

An’ turn me to a bloody eejit.

I wad be laith to rin’ an’ chase thee

Thou feckin’ widget.”

…I’ll see myself out…lock up after yourselves, will you? My widgets are hungry.